Leaving

To leave something, whether it be good or bad, is a difficult thing and because of that, I"m having a very hard time writing this blog. I write something and then erase it and then just sit here pondering what in the world I'm going to write. (kind of frustrating) I wish I were an eloquent linguist. My thoughts are often scattered and hard to connect into a message that is clear and concise, which normally I am not. :)

So just bear with me.... For so long I've been waiting to hear again from God, and now that I have been hearing from Him again it is stuff that is very difficult to hear. Heart wrenching you could say, it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it now.

I have always been labeled a strong individual with confidence and drive towards whatever it is that I want. I would tend to agree and so does my personality test which says I'm an ESTJ. I have been placed in types of situations where my strength and confidence has been shaken beyond belief, but because of God and His grace I always come out the other side with more confidence in Him, not myself. So what am I leaving-wouldn't you all like to know. ;) And unfortunately for you I am not going to share, at least not on a public blog. Boy isn't that a change...I'm being a little bit private.

What I will say is it is time to say good bye to some things and hello to what comes next. I can't move forward unless I say good bye to the things that I'm holding onto right now. One of the things has been with me for a very long time and God is really calling me to let it go-" My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in your weakness." This makes me completely weak and it is very scary to give it up. I have been battling against it for years and I know there will be days where it will win and then there will be days that I win but ultimately I know in order to find true rest I need to go through this time.

The other thing has been around for years as well, but in different forms. Sometimes for a long time and sometimes for a short time. As I grow up and as time has gone on it has been me leaving it behind, because God has called me to. At the time I do not want to do it but I know that after awhile I see the reason God has asked me to leave it. It isn't that it is a bad thing, although some have been bad for me, it is just I have something better coming. So once again I feel that still small voice saying it's time, and I will bring you through.

So for my parting thoughts I"m going to leave a couple of lyrics from Steven Curtis Chapman's song Believe me Now:
I know you don't have the strength to fight
Do you have the faith to stand and
Believe me now
Believe me here
Remember all the times I've told you loud and clear
I am with you